Ubuntu

I have just finished reading a fascinating and haunting book called Holding Up The Sky, written by Sandy Blackburn-Wright; about the nearly 20 years she spent in South Africa. She lived and worked in the townships pre and post 1994, was married to a black man, adopted a small black girl and had her own child. She is intelligent, honest and has written an amazing book about her young life in South Africa – she was only 23 when she arrived here in 1988.

But, this is not intended to be a book review. I was so intrigued by her description of the township and rural communities, the way of life and how the people help and support the township communities. This is how she describes it: “In the townships no one had an interest in what you did for a living, only in who you are in relationship to others. There is a word often used in South Africa that describes this: Ubuntu. It means that we are only human through other human beings and can only express our humanity through our relationships and dealings with others. In isolation we cannot be truly human.”

This got me thinking about where we are in our communities, our little space within family and friends, how we interact with others. What defines us, the person, who we are deep down, what makes us tick, what makes us happy?

And how do we define and validate our lives in the bigger picture that is our community and space on this earth?

I drew up this list of items that I believe don’t validate or define us (please add to it – I would love to get your input to add to this list):

An expensive car
Designer clothes and how much you spend on them
Where you live and the size of your house
Your career – past or present
The places you have traveled to
The people you know or allude to knowing
Your partner – especially when the relationship isn’t working and you just hang on anyway because of perceived status
How much money you have
What others may say about you
All the people you put on pedestals and seek approval from – or just seek approval for most things

And this is how I would define / validate an person with ubuntu: (please add to it - I would love to have your input to add to the list)

Your satisfaction and comfort with yourself and the people around you and your environment
How you rate yourself on honesty, loyalty, compassion
How successful your family and other relationships are
Do you contribute
If you are consistently loving, kind, generous, giving
If you willingly help people…. Just because you can