Hahahahaha - Words of advice from John Cleese
http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/28/john-cleese-how-to-be-extremely-happy/
Thanks to my cousin Kel Sheppey for this - he posted it on Facebook.
Enjoy
Wednesday 28 October 2009
Frugal Emotions
This extract is from : The Reason of Things, Living with Philosophy by A C Grayling
“… if one is frugal with one’s emotions – limiting love in order to avoid its pains, stifling appetites and desires in order to escape the price of their fulfillment – one lives a stunted, muffled, bland life only. It is practically tantamount to a partial death in order to minimize the electric character of existence – its pleasures, its ecstasies, its richness and colour, matched by its agonies, its wretchedness, its disasters and grief. To take life in armfuls, to embrace and accept it, to leap into it with energy and relish, is of course to invite trouble of all familiar kinds. But the cost of avoiding trouble is a terrible one: it is the cost of having trodden the planet for humanity’s brief allotment of less than a thousand months, without really having lived”
Thanks to Barbara for sending it to me.
“… if one is frugal with one’s emotions – limiting love in order to avoid its pains, stifling appetites and desires in order to escape the price of their fulfillment – one lives a stunted, muffled, bland life only. It is practically tantamount to a partial death in order to minimize the electric character of existence – its pleasures, its ecstasies, its richness and colour, matched by its agonies, its wretchedness, its disasters and grief. To take life in armfuls, to embrace and accept it, to leap into it with energy and relish, is of course to invite trouble of all familiar kinds. But the cost of avoiding trouble is a terrible one: it is the cost of having trodden the planet for humanity’s brief allotment of less than a thousand months, without really having lived”
Thanks to Barbara for sending it to me.
Sunday 25 October 2009
MFJS
Yesterday, Seth Godin’s daily blog covered a type of person he refers to as a Troll. I, far less delicately, refer to these people as Mother-F*****ing Joy Suckers (MFJS). I couldn’t have written about this as beautifully as Seth so I am copying his blog about Trolls, in its entirety, and also the blog he sent out today called Begrudging – which I believe he should have called MFJS 2......
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/10/trolls.html
Trolls
Lots of things about work are hard. Dealing with trolls is one of them. Trolls are critics who gain perverse pleasure in relentlessly tearing you and your ideas down. Here's the thing(s):
1. trolls will always be trolling
2. critics rarely create
3. they live in a tiny echo chamber, ignored by everyone except the trolled and the other trolls
4. professionals (that's you) get paid to ignore them. It's part of your job.
"Can't please everyone," isn't just an aphorism, it's the secret of being remarkable.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/10/begrudging.html
Begrudging
I don't know if this happens to you, but I'm noticing it more and more. Someone offers you a refund, or agrees to sell you something or even hires you to do a project, but then spend a lot of time explaining that it's a one time thing, or that it's against policy or it's not even something they like to do.
What's the point of agreeing to anything begrudgingly? Does it get your partner to do his best work? Does it increase the chances that you'll get to win next time?
If you're going to do something, do it. Go all in. Doing it half in makes no sense at all to me. It's a like a store that has so many rules and regulations about sales and exchanges that you wonder if they really want to be bothered to sell you anything at all.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/10/trolls.html
Trolls
Lots of things about work are hard. Dealing with trolls is one of them. Trolls are critics who gain perverse pleasure in relentlessly tearing you and your ideas down. Here's the thing(s):
1. trolls will always be trolling
2. critics rarely create
3. they live in a tiny echo chamber, ignored by everyone except the trolled and the other trolls
4. professionals (that's you) get paid to ignore them. It's part of your job.
"Can't please everyone," isn't just an aphorism, it's the secret of being remarkable.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/10/begrudging.html
Begrudging
I don't know if this happens to you, but I'm noticing it more and more. Someone offers you a refund, or agrees to sell you something or even hires you to do a project, but then spend a lot of time explaining that it's a one time thing, or that it's against policy or it's not even something they like to do.
What's the point of agreeing to anything begrudgingly? Does it get your partner to do his best work? Does it increase the chances that you'll get to win next time?
If you're going to do something, do it. Go all in. Doing it half in makes no sense at all to me. It's a like a store that has so many rules and regulations about sales and exchanges that you wonder if they really want to be bothered to sell you anything at all.
Friday 23 October 2009
The Pink Pig of Happiness
If you haven’t read the book, you can now watch the movie…… This little book, all about the PPoH, has been animated and you can check it out on uTube. It is only 4.36 minutes long and well worth watching – VeRy InsPirAtiOnaL and good for a great big chuckle.
Click on this link….. Enjoy... and good for the kids to watch..... Hahahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/edwardmonktontv#p/u
Click on this link….. Enjoy... and good for the kids to watch..... Hahahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/edwardmonktontv#p/u
Happy Scones
Every now and again people send me Happiness type recipes. I have tried a couple of them but mostly have filed them in a safe place with vague thoughts for a Happiness Cookbook at some stage. When I received this one the other day I was charmed.... and had to send it on to you straight away. I haven't tried it but just look at the list of ingredients.
Happy Scones
230 grams of self-raising flour
75 grams of butter
50 grams of sugar
1 egg of a happy chicken
2 tbsps of milk or buttermilk
2 tsps of mixed spice (cinnamon, cloves etc)
dried cranberries
pinch of salt
This is how you make the Happy Scones:
Preheat the oven at 220° C.
Put the flour and pinch of salt in a bowl, together with the mixed spices and rub the butter into the mixture until you have a breadcrumb consistency. Add the sugar. Beat the egg with the milk and add this to the dry mixture together with the cranberries and bring together until the moisture is absorbed. Make into dough with your hands. If the dough is a bit dry, add a little bit more milk. Roll out the dough into a circle. It should be approx. 2.5 cm thick. Cut out the scones with a cookie cutter or a glass. Place on a baking tray and brush with a little milk and bake in the oven for 10-15 minutes. They have to be well risen and light brown. Leave them to cool on a wire rack. Serve with thick cream, butter and homemade cranberries and port jam.
Happy Scones
230 grams of self-raising flour
75 grams of butter
50 grams of sugar
1 egg of a happy chicken
2 tbsps of milk or buttermilk
2 tsps of mixed spice (cinnamon, cloves etc)
dried cranberries
pinch of salt
This is how you make the Happy Scones:
Preheat the oven at 220° C.
Put the flour and pinch of salt in a bowl, together with the mixed spices and rub the butter into the mixture until you have a breadcrumb consistency. Add the sugar. Beat the egg with the milk and add this to the dry mixture together with the cranberries and bring together until the moisture is absorbed. Make into dough with your hands. If the dough is a bit dry, add a little bit more milk. Roll out the dough into a circle. It should be approx. 2.5 cm thick. Cut out the scones with a cookie cutter or a glass. Place on a baking tray and brush with a little milk and bake in the oven for 10-15 minutes. They have to be well risen and light brown. Leave them to cool on a wire rack. Serve with thick cream, butter and homemade cranberries and port jam.
Tuesday 20 October 2009
Expedition racing and bloody noses
I think that just about everyone who knows me also knows that my daughter Lisa is an expedition racer. And you might very well say “A what?”. Well, briefly, expedition racing is a multi day, many kilometres (can be up to 800km), multi discipline (running, paddling, mountain bilking etc), sometimes self sufficient (you carry all your gear and food) and can be either a team or solo event.
And you might very well also say “OMG she must be very fit” and what you don’t say is a little mad as well *grin*.
But now here’s the thing…. Fitness isn’t the thing that gets you through the race. Preparation, your feet and your mind are the things that get you to the finish line. So sometimes – most times - it is not the most obvious skill or attribute that’s needed. Sometimes you just have to get out there and "just do it".
And here’s a really important thing – you need to expect a little bloody nose: I lifted this wonderful quote from Lisa’s blog today. It is from an episode of Star Trek and was said by the character Q:
"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid."
And then Lisa goes on to say: “Sometimes you have to risk that bloody nose for all the other rewards that life offers.”
And you might very well also say “OMG she must be very fit” and what you don’t say is a little mad as well *grin*.
But now here’s the thing…. Fitness isn’t the thing that gets you through the race. Preparation, your feet and your mind are the things that get you to the finish line. So sometimes – most times - it is not the most obvious skill or attribute that’s needed. Sometimes you just have to get out there and "just do it".
And here’s a really important thing – you need to expect a little bloody nose: I lifted this wonderful quote from Lisa’s blog today. It is from an episode of Star Trek and was said by the character Q:
"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid."
And then Lisa goes on to say: “Sometimes you have to risk that bloody nose for all the other rewards that life offers.”
Wednesday 14 October 2009
Questions and Answers
Penelope Trunk (of the Brazencareerist.com) made a couple of great one liners about questions which I jotted down because they really struck a cord. (Unfortunately I can’t give you the exact references because I only copied the statement!) These notes have been sitting in my “future blog” file for some time and my observation over the last couple of weeks has prompted me to now write about “questions”
The question that generates an answer you can’t cope with: The answer is usually just the thing we want to avoid – So, we avoid asking the question OR we rephrase the question in the hopes that we will get a “softer” answer. But ultimately, we know the answer but don’t want to hear it.
Hint: Make sure you want to hear the answer if you do ask the question.
You ask me a question when five people have given you an answer you don't like: Don’t you just hate this? It happens so often – especially in business. And the person asking the question is just hoping like mad that some poor sucker will give him the “right/wrong” answer, and he bandies that poor guys name all over the place…. “but Joe said I could have 75% discount….” and the pooh really hits fan especially for poor Joe.
Hint: Just don’t do this – it is so annoying and you wont win any friends.
Not every good question leads to a great relationship: Sometimes those great questions you have lined up will reveal that the other person actually doesn’t have a clue.
Hint: This can be disappointing – but ask anyway. You can't always wear rose coloured specs.
Learn to take criticism well by choosing your critics well: This is my particular favourite. Don’t you just love it when people criticise something you have done (written, painted, sculpted, photographed) and they don’t know what the heck they are talking about?
Hint: Don’t get too upset about unqualified and unsolicited criticism – worry about the other sought after qualified stuff and take it on the chin.
My Observations about questions
It is not just politicians who don’t give straight answers to questions. Many people just don’t answer the question – at all. It doesn’t matter what the question is they will say something like “Well hmmmm……” and then launch into something they want to tell you. And you are left a bit bemused wondering where that came from, repeat you question and they say “Well hmmm.….” And then go off on another tangent, different to the previous one and you are left even more bemused and wondering what this has to do with what you asked. And when the question is asked a third time and you want to say something like “just answer the damn question” they have a little hissy fit and feel very miffed and misunderstood ….. Go figure.
Hint: Just answer the question - if you don't understand the question, paraphrase it back to the person doing the asking and then answer it - don’t say something you think the person might like to hear instead. If you don’t want to answer the question – say so.
The question that generates an answer you can’t cope with: The answer is usually just the thing we want to avoid – So, we avoid asking the question OR we rephrase the question in the hopes that we will get a “softer” answer. But ultimately, we know the answer but don’t want to hear it.
Hint: Make sure you want to hear the answer if you do ask the question.
You ask me a question when five people have given you an answer you don't like: Don’t you just hate this? It happens so often – especially in business. And the person asking the question is just hoping like mad that some poor sucker will give him the “right/wrong” answer, and he bandies that poor guys name all over the place…. “but Joe said I could have 75% discount….” and the pooh really hits fan especially for poor Joe.
Hint: Just don’t do this – it is so annoying and you wont win any friends.
Not every good question leads to a great relationship: Sometimes those great questions you have lined up will reveal that the other person actually doesn’t have a clue.
Hint: This can be disappointing – but ask anyway. You can't always wear rose coloured specs.
Learn to take criticism well by choosing your critics well: This is my particular favourite. Don’t you just love it when people criticise something you have done (written, painted, sculpted, photographed) and they don’t know what the heck they are talking about?
Hint: Don’t get too upset about unqualified and unsolicited criticism – worry about the other sought after qualified stuff and take it on the chin.
My Observations about questions
It is not just politicians who don’t give straight answers to questions. Many people just don’t answer the question – at all. It doesn’t matter what the question is they will say something like “Well hmmmm……” and then launch into something they want to tell you. And you are left a bit bemused wondering where that came from, repeat you question and they say “Well hmmm.….” And then go off on another tangent, different to the previous one and you are left even more bemused and wondering what this has to do with what you asked. And when the question is asked a third time and you want to say something like “just answer the damn question” they have a little hissy fit and feel very miffed and misunderstood ….. Go figure.
Hint: Just answer the question - if you don't understand the question, paraphrase it back to the person doing the asking and then answer it - don’t say something you think the person might like to hear instead. If you don’t want to answer the question – say so.
Saturday 10 October 2009
Happines Flow Chart
I found this great little Happiness flow chart on "twitpic by jackidanicki - Sept 09". If you would like it as a fridge magnet, send me an email with your postal address.
Wednesday 7 October 2009
Soul-mates and Amazing Friends
Yesterday on 702 radio Dr Helgo Schomer (my favorite psychologist) was talking about Soul-mates. The gist of the talk was on what makes a soul-mate.
Dr Schomer listed these qualities that make a soul-mate, an amazing friend and a really good partner for that matter:
He made this comment about loving friends: We love our friends because of the way in which they support who we are.... when people affirm who we are a friendship becomes a strong possibility. He also says that when you have too many opinions about a friend the friendship won’t last.
Interestingly, a soul-mate may not be a soul-mate for ever. We move on and out-grow stages of our lives. University friends for example marry, have children and then the single friend is replaced by these other priorities. Another point he raised was that Social research has typically found that the marriage partner is often not the soul-mate.
Dr Schomer says that men generally bond with each other through some sort of activity eg. sport, fishing. And women bond on another level altogether. They share information and emotions. Gosh, and we wonder why there is sometimes this great divide *grin*
Dr Schomer listed these qualities that make a soul-mate, an amazing friend and a really good partner for that matter:
The ability to keep confidences, loyalty, warmth and affection,
supportiveness, frankness, humour, willingness to set time aside for you. Soul-mates have a high degree of compatibility in all these things.
You look out for each other, you are happy to see each other, you feel special in the other persons company. You happily and willingly invest time and make room in your lives for each other.
Self disclosure is essential to a close relationship – you share your wishes and fears. You receive affirmation and acceptance. You trust each other.
Soul-mates have greater tolerance and accept us for who we are.
We become best friends with people who boost our identity.Dr Schomer goes on to talk about nourishing the relationship – and that basically boils down to good old face-to-face contact time; in fact he says it is essential. Electronic messages just don’t cut it. You need to spend time together - you need to make the investment and make the time to nourish the relationship and be friends.
He made this comment about loving friends: We love our friends because of the way in which they support who we are.... when people affirm who we are a friendship becomes a strong possibility. He also says that when you have too many opinions about a friend the friendship won’t last.
Interestingly, a soul-mate may not be a soul-mate for ever. We move on and out-grow stages of our lives. University friends for example marry, have children and then the single friend is replaced by these other priorities. Another point he raised was that Social research has typically found that the marriage partner is often not the soul-mate.
Dr Schomer says that men generally bond with each other through some sort of activity eg. sport, fishing. And women bond on another level altogether. They share information and emotions. Gosh, and we wonder why there is sometimes this great divide *grin*
Sunday 4 October 2009
A Sense of Humour
Happiness gurus around the world say that having a sense of humour helps… an awful lot. Seeing the funny side of things breaks all sorts of tensions and angst and sends your happiness barometer up, up and up.
I know that my sense of humour is tickled by really silly things and clever things. In fact, the sillier the thing is, the more I laugh......
I have to share this with you because firstly, I think it is really very funny (clever and silly) and secondly, hats off to this IT Company in PMB for having an incredible sense of fun (and great PR person) and doing a really funny follow through to a story that might have just died a quick death.
Do you remember the IT company who raced the pigeon Winston to prove that "pigeon mail" was faster than the Telkom ADSL speed? Well, I found this little gem in the Sunday Times this morning:
“Winging IT: Winston the famous homing pigeon has been given his own mascot. He recently earned celebrity status after successfully flying 40gb of data over a distance of 80km in about 2 hours, beating Telkom’s ADSL speed. Durban IT professional Mark Smith, who dons a pigeon outfit resembling Winston, has been making appearances at a number of public events. Agiza Hlongwane”
I know that my sense of humour is tickled by really silly things and clever things. In fact, the sillier the thing is, the more I laugh......
I have to share this with you because firstly, I think it is really very funny (clever and silly) and secondly, hats off to this IT Company in PMB for having an incredible sense of fun (and great PR person) and doing a really funny follow through to a story that might have just died a quick death.
Do you remember the IT company who raced the pigeon Winston to prove that "pigeon mail" was faster than the Telkom ADSL speed? Well, I found this little gem in the Sunday Times this morning:
“Winging IT: Winston the famous homing pigeon has been given his own mascot. He recently earned celebrity status after successfully flying 40gb of data over a distance of 80km in about 2 hours, beating Telkom’s ADSL speed. Durban IT professional Mark Smith, who dons a pigeon outfit resembling Winston, has been making appearances at a number of public events. Agiza Hlongwane”
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