Listening

The other night a friend sent me a PowerPoint presentation which scrolled Van Gogh paintings to Don McLean’s famous song, Starry, Starry Night. It really hit the spot – beautiful pictures and beautiful song. And McLean’s words “they would not listen, they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now” got me thinking again about how we need to pay more attention to listening.

Have you ever been in a conversation like this:

You: Hi, how are you
Other person (OP): Fine, and you, how was your holiday
You: I had to go to ……..
OP: London costs a fortune; you should have gone to xyz
You: Yes, but I had to go because ………….
OP: I just went to Brazil and it was very cheap and I had a wonderful time
You: That’s great. I…….
OP: You really should see my travel agent – she has the best deals
You: Thanks, I have a really good person……
OP: I bet my agent can get you a good price to Brazil
You: But I don’t want to go to….
OP: Brazil is the best place to go for a cheap holiday, have you been to etc etc etc etc

The OP in this instance still doesn’t know why you went away; actually where you went and is just not getting it that you don’t want to go to Brazil. Frustrating hey?

So where are you when you have a conversation with someone – where is your focus, your interest? Are you in the same space as that person? What are you thinking about while they’re talking? Are you constantly interrupting with questions, comments, your ideas/thoughts? Think about it – when you walk away from a conversation are you any wiser about that person, their thoughts and ideas? Or have you just been interested in talking about your “stuff”? If you're really interested in the other person then ask your question and Listen to the answers, digest what they have to say; you don’t have to “win” the conversation and for goodness sake stop second guessing what they have to say and telling them what they think/feel/know – let them say it. Shut up, focus and listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkvLq0TYiwI Van Gogh pictures and song