Packed for Spain

Thanks to Lisa, my bags are packed and I’m ready to go….(argh..that was so corny *grin*)

I have mastered downsizing. I have decanted lotions and potions into fairy sized containers; wondered how on earth you wash dirty hands with those little, less than paper thin leaves, had Lisa toss out my allergy pills which I had packed just in case – the fact that I have never had an allergy in my life didn’t stop me from packing them…out they went, tossed over Lisa’s shoulder. I have the barest minimum of clothing, toiletries and even a few tiny little bottles of whisky.

I have culled all the stuff I subscribed to: blogs, newsletters, daily newspapers and asked friends not to send me jokes. I have had nothing to read this past week or so…..and no jokes to laugh at.

My life feels very simple all of a sudden.

So off I go – leaving tomorrow night and returning on the 20^th October.

Take care and be well

Love and happiness to you all.

August Bits and Pieces

Finding closure

I am often puzzled by this expression. It is usually trotted out by people who have little or nothing to do with the grieving person/family. Things are said like: they must have the funeral soon so they can find closure, they must find out what happened so they can find closure and my very best is: it has been 3 months and they still haven’t found closure……they must find closure! I understand the expression but remain puzzled that there is this pressing need that people find closure (so soon/quickly) and they just have to find closure. Whatever happened to the mourning process? Just because the post-mortem has been done or funeral conducted it doesn’t mean that everything immediately gets back to normal and all is hunky dory again.

Good Read

I am reading a fascinating book called Country Driving – A Chinese Road Trip by Peter Hessler. I have nearly finished this 550 page whopper about life in China. Peter Hessler is an American journalist and has lived in China for quite a long time, is fluent in Mandarin and tells a good story. Why is it fascinating? It gives a pretty good snapshot of the Chinese psyche and provides a fascinating story of how China has developed into the economic force it is today …..and a fascinating insight into the drive and energy of the people.

The First Green Tree

I drive down Roberts Avenue (eventually turns into Commissioner Street) every morning on my way to work. A long section of the road is lined with beautiful oak trees. There is one little oak tree along the way (badly pruned to smallness or just a baby tree?) that has sent out all its bright green new leaves – almost as if the large oaks have bullied it into testing the weather before they produce their new leaves.

And on this subject: Yeah…thank goodness spring/summer is nearly here…enough of the cold weather.

Senior Moment

Not me…..my little cat Bracken (16 and a bit years) had a senior moment the other day. On our way back from our daily walk she got distracted, I didn’t notice and carried on – turned the corner and when I got home I realised she wasn’t following me. I waited a little bit and then decided to go and find her. She was sitting at the pathway to another house – and if a cat can look anxious, she looked anxious. I called her and when she saw me she was delighted and ran to me. I think she just forgot for a moment where she was…..

Excuses

Every so often when I have little book spring clean I put one book aside that I bought ages ago….should I chuck, shouldn’t I…and it stays. So the other day when it ended up the keep pile I thought I would whizz through to refresh my mind.

The name of this book is: The Idiot’s Guide to Coping with Difficult People. You may well ask why I bought it…well it’s because I don’t cope or deal with difficult people very well at all and I am usually end up feeling like a loser or really awful.

Does the book help? Sure it does. Does one always follow the good advice and insight it dishes out in well thought out chunks – of course not. Or….maybe only sometimes. Would you be better off following the advice – most definitely.

The book covers relationships with family, parents, siblings, bosses, lovers, h

usbands and wives and friends. During the quick refresher read I did, I noted one point that kept coming up in all these relationships and that was: If you keep making excuses for a person there is something very wrong with that person…. Or if someone else makes excuses for a person…ditto. And what do I mean by this? Here are a couple of little innocuous examples:

• He is very angry/aggressive because his father left home when he was young

• She is so self centred because her mother spoilt her

• He drinks because he had a difficult childhood

• She behaves like that because she has a difficult job and is very stressed

• He has so many hardships in life – that is why he is so difficult to get on with/beats his wife/doesn’t communicate with anyone.

For as long as people (usually their nearest and dearest) are making excuses for the way a person behaves…that person doesn’t have to do anything to make themselves more agreeable or likeable or get involved in your life/the kids life/your folks and friends/take the dog for a walk etc. They can behave like miserable spoilt brats – and they get away with it. You are the one who bears the brunt of it.

One of the really funny examples that popped up was: He is so brilliant – he just can’t fit in with this world – he can’t relate to anyone because he is so clever - that is why he is so distant/anti-social/disagreeable/rude/obnoxious – need I go on? What rubbish – if he was so brilliant he wouldn’t behave like a jerk…so Mummy/sister/wife encourages this bad behaviour by making out he is so brilliant….and thinks he is too good for lesser mortals - hahahaha.

When you make excuses for people you are enabling them to cop out of taking responsibility for their bad behaviour. They are the ones who end up not doing stuff, they don’t get asked to help out with things and generally they can sit back and watch everyone else slogging it out and tip toeing around them.

So what do you do when someone tells you about this really amazing guy/gal (possible future employee/girlfriend/boyfriend) but says you must treat them carefully because they had an alcoholic father/was adopted/is so clever it is difficult to understand them/is rude because they are a perfectionist……what do you do? Well the best thing to do is run a mile.