Great Quote

I stole, yes, stole, this quote from my cousin Jeannie Shepherd's facebook page....... I think it will make another great fridge magnet. If you want one, send me an email and your postal address.

Happiness is a decision you make,

not an emotion you feel.

How happy are you?

If you Google “Happiness Quiz” you will get 2,250,000 results. That is quite a lot of information to find out how happy you are *grin*. But before I continue, I would like to thank the people who have sent me links to quizzes, questionnaires and so on…. I really appreciate all this input – you can never have too much information on Happiness.

When I decided to do my own quiz, I didn’t quite know where to start. Happiness is a serious field of study so I went to the websites of Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard and Stanford Universities and had a look at their Happiness questionnaires (Yes, they really do study Happiness!). There were hundreds of questions so I consolidated them, divided them into categories and came up with the following list.

I would really love to have your answers – so please email me if you want to. NB: This is a Yes/No quiz and there are no correct answers. Also, if you answer Yes to 50% of the questions it doesn’t mean you are 50% happy!

The general idea of this quiz is to give our awareness a nudge.

HAPPINESS QUIZ

Relationships:
I am satisfied with my relationship with my significant other.
I am satisfied with my relationship with my family, friends, and children.
I have a few close friends who I can rely on for emotional support.
I feel that I have enough love in my life.
I feel that I am loved by my significant other and/or children.
I feel that I am loved by my family and friends.
I know and like my neighbours.
I am a member of a group (church, club etc).

Career and Activities:
I am satisfied with the career I am currently in.
I have hobbies or activities that I do for fun on a regular basis.
I express my "creative self" regularly.
I often learn new things, take courses, and increase my knowledge base.

Goals:
I have set personal goals for myself
I do not have goals that have been on my list for a few years.
I believe I have meaning and purpose in my life.

My Life:
If I could go back in time, I would not change too many things in my past.
My idea of the "perfect life" is close to my present circumstances.
I consider myself more fortunate than most people.
I believe that I am always committed and involved
I feel that I am in control of my life.
I feel that my life is really good.
I feel that I have time to take on anything that comes my way.
I am alert and aware of things going on around me.
I am pleased with the way I am.
I believe I look attractive.
I make decisions easily

Other people:
I am interested in other people
I have fun with other people
I usually feel very warm towards most people
I believe that I am a good influence on people around me
I regularly help other people (outside of your immediate circle).

Health and well being:
I wake up feeling good and rested
I have a lot of energy
I feel healthy
I find a lot of things amusing
I laugh a lot
I have happy memories of the past
I often feel joy and elation.
I find beauty in most things.

The world:
I think the world is a nice place
I feel optimistic about the future

General:
I have left a large tip for a small bill.
I have given something of mine away to a person who admired it.
I sometimes perform anonymous random acts of kindness.
I have given someone money rather than make it a loan.

The Trust Issue

The other evening a bunch of us were sitting around chatting about the “rule breakers” on the roads… you all know about the people who go through red lights, ignore stop streets and treat solid white lines as extended dotted lines…. And what seemed to be the absolute favourite, the people who just don’t let you into the traffic getting onto a motorway – yeah, go figure.

And then the conversation turned to the alarming number of people who don’t have number plates on their cars…. Either front or back or none at all!!!! The main reason for this little trend is to avoid being caught in the speed cameras… I am not sure why they don’t just paint a middle finger pointing skywards in space where the number should be.

I know a couple of people who don’t have number plates and when I raised this with them they just laugh and change the subject. I kinda feel a bit iffy and miffy about this – they are breaking the law and proud of it.

So this is where our conversation led to….how do you like doing business with a person like this? He/she blatantly disregards the “rules” including the speed limit? So how much other dishonest stuff does this guy/gal do?

And then the chat went further and these things were raised:

How much do you trust your business partner/colleague who cheats on his tax? (and don’t say everyone does *grin*)

How much do you trust your business partner/colleague who cheats on his/her life partner? You might have even heard them rattling off a whopping great lie to the person waiting at home.

How much do you trust your business partner/colleague who claims all sorts of stuff on his householders insurance that he didn’t have?

How much do you trust your business partner/colleague who can get you really cheap electronic equipment through a contact who knows about stuff falling off a truck?

This list could be endless. But it makes one think doesn’t it.

Happy…birthday

Yesterday morning I took my daughter Lisa out for breakfast to celebrate her birthday. We had all sorts of things planned for the day, haircuts, downloading and setting up accounting systems (the downloading took hours so the setting up will happen today); but mostly, in addition to the birthday it was a celebration of the first day of Lisa’s new media company.

While we were munching away on the best eggs Benedict in Bedfordview, I commented to Lisa that she just looked so different; she was glowing and almost vibrating with happiness and good health. This is an extract from the blog she sent out last night: (Note from Liz: I was a child bride *grin*)

"Today I turn the very fine age of 33. I'm also celebrating because I start a new adventure today. I wrapped up my work at PenQuin yesterday and today I am officially working for myself again. So what motivated this move if PenQuin was such a funky company?

There have been a number of factors, the most important being that I have to follow my heart and to do what motivates and inspires me to get up in the morning. Through PenQuin I've discovered that I am most motivated by working with individuals and small companies with their publicity, media and communications - especially where they've reached a point where they just need h.e.l.p. I'm able to make a meaningful difference to what they do. This works for me. And I'm also a softie for getting involved with social responsibility initiatives.

I don't have a specific job title because I'm certainly not one to be defined by titles and I've got too many mixed experiences in various media and other elements - writing, reporting, scripting, tv, websites (building and editing), event media, event organising... I like to think of myself as a 'problem solver'. You got a communications/media/fun problem? I'll solve it; or I'll know someone who can.

Oh yes, it is scary going out on my own again, but it is something that I have to do - for me."

Need I say more? Yes, I think I must. All too often when it comes to following our hearts, our ambitions, the things we love, we feel that awful knot of fear in our stomachs and worry about taking that leap…. And leap it is.

You just may have to deal with the “nay sayers”. You have to deal with the people who purse their lips and don’t say a word, you have to deal with the “mother-f*#&ing joy suckers”, and you have to, more often than not, take that giant leap all by yourself.

Doesn’t it make more sense to listen to your friend, partner, offspring, with an open mind and heart? Doesn’t it make more sense to listen and add positive value to someone’s ideas and dreams (unless of course they are totally hair brained!!!). Doesn’t it make sense to support and encourage…… Don't be an automatic "Nay Sayer"!

So, here’s the really great thing…… the response Lisa has had to her new business venture has been overwhelming – She has been blessed with the “Yeah Sayers” and support from so many people, some quite unexpected! She has been meeting with potential clients for the last couple of weeks, she has drawn up some proposals to be finalised today and next week, and she is brimming with great ideas, motivation and energy….. she has found a niche market and has the media contacts and experience to make a huge difference to the smaller organisations and people…. And she just loves what she does!

Say, "Yes!"

Contributed by: Lisa de Speville - http://adventurelisa.blogspot.com/

Last night I watched 'Yes Man' on DVD. It's a Jim Carrey movie (2008) about a guy, who has become withdrawn and depressed since his divorce. He spends his spare time watching DVDs alone in his apartment, ignoring invitations to parties and neglecting his friends. His outlook on life is totally negative.

A friend persuades him to attend the "Yes!" self-improvement seminar (cool appearance by Terence Stamp as the motivational guru). Jim's character, Carl, reluctantly promises to stop being a "No Man" and vows to answer "Yes!" to every opportunity, request or invitation that presents thereafter.

Carl adopts a positive mentality and seizes every opportunity that comes his way. He takes flying lessons, attends Korean language lessons and learns to play the guitar. Saying "yes" constantly works to Carl's advantage. Although there are the obligatory OTT Jim Carrey acting scenes, I liked the theme of this movie. It's a bit like Green Eggs and Ham.

Try things. Do stuff. Saying "YES!" opens doors.

Posted by adventurelisa at 18:40

ROI on Relationships

I think everyone knows the expression “what you put in, is what you get out”. And generally this is true – if you work hard you should be rewarded and so on. But what happens when you invest, work hard, and bend over backwards in a relationship and the other person doesn’t come to the party quite as much as you do?

If one person in the relationship doesn’t care as much, believes less in it, doesn’t give the relationship as much time, attention or respect then that relationship probably won’t last long. Someone will get hurt especially when one of the people thinks there is an equal investment

The strongest, most enduring and happiest relationships come about when the investment is equal from both sides.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "
Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
~A.A. Milne

Corporate Gear

I found out about Ilithuba from my friend Jeanne Rose. This organisation has successfully set up groups of women who make and decorate skirts. Each skirt is a unique work of art and you can even give them your own design which they translate into a picture made from embroidery thread, patchwork fabric, buttons, sequins and beads. No two designs are the same; the women don’t trace pictures – they work freehand and this results in their individual talents and little quirks coming through in the rendition of each picture/design.

Ilithuba is making profits on the sale of the garments; the work groups make a small living from their work, allowing them financial independence and the wherewithal to support their families. Tina Craig, who organises the work groups, also markets, does “skirt parties”, finds retail outlets and sells and promotes these very professionally made skirts.

So Jeanne and I decided we needed corporate gear and handed our logos over to Tina…….. Just look at the our amazing skirts: mine of course is Happiness Soup and Jeanne’s is E-tin – Bringing Change Together.

Our corporate gear is a bit on the feminine side, but for the guys, maybe if you speak nicely to Tina she might be able to do something with corporate logos for the guys…… Ilithuba : Ph 11 27 82 872 2085 email info@ilithuba.co.za

HELP! I need somebody

My daughter Lisa published the following blog late last week - I have copied it here in its entirety - thank you Lisa

Lisa's Blog (http://www.adventurelisa.blogspot.com/)

HELP! I need somebody

Posted: 04 Jun 2009 11:23 AM PDT

The Beatles' song 'Help!' is one of my favourite high-speed treadmill running tracks. At 95bpm it is a VERY fast-cadence song.

On Thursday I had a fortuitious meeting with a friend; someone I've known for a few years through sport involvements, albeit not very well. He has had a rough couple of months with a turbulent relationship split, job changes, little exercise and general un-wellbeing.

When dealing with emotional stressors - relationship, work, financial, social committments and obligations - there comes a time when enough is enough. Too much rushing from one thing too the next; too many obligations - things you're obliged to do and from which you get a level of personal satisfaction but which you don't really want to do; too little time for yourself and exercise - things that are important to you; and too many things that you've given a little attention to instead of giving lots of attention to fewer things to get a better result.

And then you sit back and see so much time has passed in which you've accomplished much but it feels like little and you haven't done many things that you really wanted to because you've been fulfilling obligations. And through this all you take knocks, like a boat on a rough seas - the result is shattered confidence and the desire to climb into a hole and not get out.

Although the reality of the situation is not dire, it feels dire. Molehills feel like mountains and even the addition of one more task, even something as simple as having to submit an event entry form, causes distress. It's a small task that feels like a huge task; but is yet another one to add to all the overwhelming others.

My friend is looking at changing jobs, leaping from independant consulting to a coporate position; it is scary when you've had your freedom. He has to now get back on the map, update his CV and sell himself. He's good at what he does; very good. So good that he is headhunted by international companies for top-notch positions. Although he knows this, he's feeling low. But he also knows that he has to dust himself off because there are changes to be made.

We often live in isolation, taking stress as it comes and dealing with it on our own. But when it gets too much? That's when you need to shout, "HELP! I need somebody!".

The most difficult part is to find the right somebody - and you can't recruit through a classified ad in a newspaper. Sometimes the somebody just needs to listen and be an understanding ear; other times, like this, the somebody needs to do. And you don't have to be a close friend or relation to be this vital somebody. A right somebody is the right somebody regardless of association.

Although I am in favour of psychologists, there are times when you almost need a practical somebody with knowledge of your industry and issues to say, "Do X first, then Y and then Z". Yes, instructional handholding to get you back on your feet emotionally. You do the work; they provide the step by step instructions and those all important pats on your back.

My friend started by taking a took a look at what he needed:

• somebody to help him fix up his CV - this somebody would need to look at the things he has done over the last few years, which he considers fairly routine but which speak of his expertise and specialisations

• somebody to guide him through the steps needed to market himself because he just didn't know where to start.

I'm honoured that he thought of me because of my involvements in publicity, media, marketing and communications. Having been through a similar situation recently and totally understanding the fearful leaps involved in either going freelance or into corporate, the 'molehill to mountain syndrome' and dark sadness where you feel trapped, I was an empatheic somebody. Best of all, I knew a more suitable somebody with greater expertise who would be able to help better than I could. The sun has started shining again.

Late last year I completely cracked (total overload - I finally hit my limit). A somebody pulled me through. She listened, she saw and she said, "I can help". And she did - beyond words.

Keep your ears open and listen carefully because you may be such a somebody; a vital lifeline. It takes great courage and insight to say, "HELP! I need somebody". And when you hear this, it is very important that you, like my somebody, reply "I can help".

Help! The Beatles (lyrics)

John Lennon wrote the lyrics of the song to express his stress coming from The Beatles' quick rise to a massive level of success after years of obscurity.

Help, I need somebody

Help, not just anybody

Help, you know I need someone, help

When I was younger so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure

I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being round

Help me, get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me, help me, ooh.

Listening

The other night a friend sent me a PowerPoint presentation which scrolled Van Gogh paintings to Don McLean’s famous song, Starry, Starry Night. It really hit the spot – beautiful pictures and beautiful song. And McLean’s words “they would not listen, they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now” got me thinking again about how we need to pay more attention to listening.

Have you ever been in a conversation like this:

You: Hi, how are you
Other person (OP): Fine, and you, how was your holiday
You: I had to go to ……..
OP: London costs a fortune; you should have gone to xyz
You: Yes, but I had to go because ………….
OP: I just went to Brazil and it was very cheap and I had a wonderful time
You: That’s great. I…….
OP: You really should see my travel agent – she has the best deals
You: Thanks, I have a really good person……
OP: I bet my agent can get you a good price to Brazil
You: But I don’t want to go to….
OP: Brazil is the best place to go for a cheap holiday, have you been to etc etc etc etc

The OP in this instance still doesn’t know why you went away; actually where you went and is just not getting it that you don’t want to go to Brazil. Frustrating hey?

So where are you when you have a conversation with someone – where is your focus, your interest? Are you in the same space as that person? What are you thinking about while they’re talking? Are you constantly interrupting with questions, comments, your ideas/thoughts? Think about it – when you walk away from a conversation are you any wiser about that person, their thoughts and ideas? Or have you just been interested in talking about your “stuff”? If you're really interested in the other person then ask your question and Listen to the answers, digest what they have to say; you don’t have to “win” the conversation and for goodness sake stop second guessing what they have to say and telling them what they think/feel/know – let them say it. Shut up, focus and listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkvLq0TYiwI Van Gogh pictures and song