My daughter wrote a blog a few weeks ago about the “why’s and how’s” of getting lost – she is referring to getting physically lost in the bush, on the road and so on.. (You can read the full posting at http://adventurelisa.blogspot.com/2009/03/getting-lost-how-and-why.html)
Some of the observations on how and why we get lost physically can be applied to how we get lost in our daily lives and our relationships. Look at this statement - there are clearly lessons for us in this:
You are going along quite happily “…..but then something goes wrong; you stop paying attention perhaps and suddenly you look up and realise that your mental image (or the map in your hand) doesn't match the world you observe. And to make matters worse, once you realise that you're not where you thought you were, you keep pressing forwards, driven by the goal (motivation) to get to a specific place - your destination - where you know safety, shelter, food and warmth await (emotion). Emotion with motivation is a lost person's undoing.”
Lisa goes on to talk about “bending the map”: which refers to inventing reasons for something not being there – like the lake may have dried up. And she says that when you do this the red lights should be flashing. “What you are trying to do is make reality conform to your expectations rather that seeing what’s there.”
And her final message to adventurers and navigators is: “if you don't know where you are, backtrack. Going forward into the unknown really will not improve your situation. Return to your last point of certainty and try again.”
So, without getting too preachy and acting like a know-it-all, I must confess that I am often amazed at how we continue on the same path with great determination that something will change; the mountain or lake will suddenly appear in front of us; “things” will suddenly come right; doing “things” the same old way even though “things” are not right or working out very well.
It’s a good idea sometimes, to stop what you’re doing, take stock and change direction if that is what will give you better results and make you happier.
And finally, I just love this particular life tip from Nassim Nicolas Taleb (of Black Swan fame) :– Learn to fail with pride – and do so fast and cleanly. Maximise trial and error – by mastering the error part.
Some of the observations on how and why we get lost physically can be applied to how we get lost in our daily lives and our relationships. Look at this statement - there are clearly lessons for us in this:
You are going along quite happily “…..but then something goes wrong; you stop paying attention perhaps and suddenly you look up and realise that your mental image (or the map in your hand) doesn't match the world you observe. And to make matters worse, once you realise that you're not where you thought you were, you keep pressing forwards, driven by the goal (motivation) to get to a specific place - your destination - where you know safety, shelter, food and warmth await (emotion). Emotion with motivation is a lost person's undoing.”
Lisa goes on to talk about “bending the map”: which refers to inventing reasons for something not being there – like the lake may have dried up. And she says that when you do this the red lights should be flashing. “What you are trying to do is make reality conform to your expectations rather that seeing what’s there.”
And her final message to adventurers and navigators is: “if you don't know where you are, backtrack. Going forward into the unknown really will not improve your situation. Return to your last point of certainty and try again.”
So, without getting too preachy and acting like a know-it-all, I must confess that I am often amazed at how we continue on the same path with great determination that something will change; the mountain or lake will suddenly appear in front of us; “things” will suddenly come right; doing “things” the same old way even though “things” are not right or working out very well.
It’s a good idea sometimes, to stop what you’re doing, take stock and change direction if that is what will give you better results and make you happier.
And finally, I just love this particular life tip from Nassim Nicolas Taleb (of Black Swan fame) :– Learn to fail with pride – and do so fast and cleanly. Maximise trial and error – by mastering the error part.
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