Let people walk in your footsteps

Lesson:

The other day, while my daughter and I were talking about life in general she told me about a young girl in their adventure racing club who needed a bit of help getting to the top of a koppie. The koppie was steep, rock-ridden and there were no discernable pathways. Lisa said she saw this girl making attempts at a couple of routes but was obviously very nervous and uncomfortable. So Lisa went back to her and told her to hold onto her backpack and put her feet exactly where Lisa was putting hers. After a while Lisa said she could hardly feel this girl holding on and she was now having a little chat, beginning to feel a bit more confident and by the time they got to the top, she was chatting away and didn’t have to put her feet in each and every one of Lisa’s footsteps. She had found her feet.

Learning 1:

This morning I helped with the registration process at a big orienteering event. It was a special day for girl and boy scouts and the usual keen local orienteerers. There were a lot of people and I didn’t quite know what I was doing. I had to take money, record numbers of people, cut of registration forms, give one bit to them, one bit in the starter’s box, one bit to record a number; Figure out (mentally) the correct amount to charge and give change. My helper had to record the electronic tracking device numbers and put this paper in the tracking device and hand it over. We had queues of people and I was to be on duty for about an hour and then had to rush off to a brunch. My watch was half an hour fast so I was getting panicky and Lisa said she would take over. I mumbled to her that my helper was a bit slow and off I went; only to discover that I wasn’t late so back I went to continue with the registration. And things began to run smoothly albeit still quite hectic. Later, Lisa told me that my helper was the very same girl she had helped up the koppie. But now here’s the thing: This girl has been a member of the club for about 2 years. She is at every meeting, she volunteers to help at just about every event going, and she arrives on time and has never let them done. She does her tasks uncomplainingly. You can rely on her.

I had taken on the role of leader this morning on the registration table. And I messed up rather badly. Firstly I just assumed my helper had done this before (not so), I didn’t get all the instructions I needed and I didn’t pass on clear instructions to my helper. And I should have asked for an additional person to help us but didn’t. And, I should have been a bit more patient and understanding with my helper – I should have been more mindful. And sure, after about half an hour we were working nicely together….but here’s a thing. For about the first 45% of the time we bumbled; I was a lousy leader and did not give good direction or instructions. If we had been building a bridge half of it would have been a mess and the other half OK! I had a really willing, hard working helper just waiting to be led and she did a great job – I could have put her off registration helping for life!

The Learning 2:

Those reliable, “never let you down” people who are willing to learn and take instruction, the “walk in your footstep people” are the people that are the backbone of any task or project. We need people like this – they are our workhorses.

Learning 3:

I am reminded of an interview I heard about the annual selection of student dancers for the Bolshoi Ballet. The person being interview is one of the selectors and she said they see hundreds of brilliant young girls and boys but they don’t always choose the absolutely best dancers. They will choose the ones who are willing to learn and work with them.

Dining with Goddesses

On Tuesday night I dined with 7 goddesses. Really! I did! These goddesses are members of a US based organization called Project Athena and were in Jhb for a couple of days, en route to Namibia to participate in the 5 day Namib Desert Challenge.

In Greek mythology, Athena is the goddess of civilization, wisdom, strength, strategy, craft, justice and skill and after spending an evening with these ladies, I think Athena would be very proud of her earthly representatives.

Project Athena was founded a couple of years ago by Robyn Benincasa (Google her to see the most amazing photos). Robyn is an adventure racer and ironman athlete whose day job is that of firefighter in the San Diego fire department. She had her first hip replacement 3 years ago at the ripe old age of 39 and the second one, on the other side, 6 months ago.

My daughter Lisa has known Robyn for a number of years. She has met up with Robyn and some of the other goddesses at various races around the world so it was wonderful to spend time with them on her home turf. Lisa has this to say about Robyn and Project Athena:

" Two-and-a-half years ago Robyn founded the Project Athena Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to helping women who've endured major medical setbacks achieve their athletic dreams. As she says, "Doctors cure the body; Project Athena cures the spirit". Sometimes people just need someone next to them to help them along the trail of life.

Project Athena came about after Robyn's first hip resurfacing operation where she was helped by friends. She is currently five months out of her second hip op - yes, she truly is bionic, metal hips and all!

The six other Project Athena women running with Robyn have all made it through (or are living with) major medical issues: breast cancers, uterine cancer, spinal degeneration, osteoarthritis...

There's a valuable message that these women tell through their actions. They are ambassadors, not only for women who have undergone similar major medical setbacks, but also for everyone of us - guys and girls - in everyday life. Their actions remind us to celebrate wellness by doing the things we love, sharing it with those around us and to keep doing these things... in sickness and in health."

Project Athena's primary message is to get you back onto your athletic feet and this is achieved by support, sharing experiences and providing an environment where you can continue to achieve your sporting (predominately running) goals. Robyn’s athletic achievements are legendary and I am not sure there are many people around who can match her. But she positively glows when she talks about one of the Athena recipients achieving her goal of running 5kms in her hometown and how Kerrie (see photo), with about a ton of titanium in her spine, ran the Great Wall of China Race last year. This means so much to the Athena team – it means another athlete has overcome her major setback! It doesn’t matter how far you run, just that you are doing it!

Lisa (front right) pictured with...

(Back) Melissa, Grant (Grant is local), Kerrie

(Middle) Florence, Jonea, Masha, Robyn

(Front) Louise & Lisa

Lisa will be setting up the SA branch of project Athena – there is still a bit to sort out and we are looking forward to this with much excitement.

Is saying sorry enough?

Yesterday Jacob Zuma issued a pretty well crafted PR apology to the SA people, family, friends and the ANC. I am not sure he quite said “I am really and truly sorry” but it is obvious from his previous statement wherein the media was committing child abuse, infringement of his human rights and a multitude of other stuff that media generally do. It is obvious that this apology was an attempt to put him in a better light and was probably at the instigation of the ANC and some sensible person who was trying to save his day.

Here is a old man person who has publically apologized a number of times. Does that wipe the slate clean? Does saying sorry mean that all should be forgiven? How about in your relationships – can you easily forgive a well crafted apology from your nearest and dearest? Not that JZ is my nearest and dearest but you get the picture.

My problem with this is that he already has a few wives and I understand that extra marital affairs are frowned on even in a polygamous marriage. I also believe that you can’t keep falling back on the predictable utterance of “it’s my culture”.

In June last year I wrote a blog about trust – and I think this is the issue I have with JZ. Firstly his fraud/corruption trials, his rape trial and various utterances that I cock an eyebrow at. I don’t trust him. In the blog about trust I cited a number of examples of ordinary citizens thumbing their noses at either the law or conventional norms and standards. And one of the questions I I asked was: How much do you trust your business partner/colleague who cheats on his/her life partner? (http://happinesssoup.blogspot.com/2009/06/trust-issue.html)

So: is saying sorry enough?

There is something so satisfying about……

On a part-time, in fact it really is an “as and when” goods are required basis, I manage my daughter Lisa’s tiny little factory business. The tiny little factory is situated in the guest room and it takes about 45 seconds to convert it from a bedroom to a hive of activity with sewing machines buzzing away and snippets of lycra, elastic and thread littering the carpet.

I am in charge of sourcing the fabric, purchasing the best quality at the very best prices, cutting, pinning, sewing, packaging and dispatching the goods. Lisa’s website is, more often than not, how the product is sold. It is a very simple system. All done via email and money is transferred via eft. The most frustrating part of the whole process however, happens to be standing in the incredibly slow queue at the post office and then having to deal with the lady who really doesn’t want to help you and never makes eye contact at all – not even when she is barking words at you.

In case you are wondering what it is that requires this flurry of industry every so often, well, we make gaiters…… for off road running/hiking/walking. Some time ago Lisa began making her own gaiters because the bought ones didn’t work properly and she was fed up with sand and all sorts of other debris ending up in her trail shoes. Over a period of time she has refined the pattern and they work so well, are exceptionally light weight and one size fits all. She has also developed a kind of “super-gaiter” for running in the dessert and this has proved really successful in Abu Dhabi where the sand is superfine, almost like powder.

At the moment I am making another batch because we suddenly got in a number of orders. 99% of the orders are for black gaiters – I am not sure why. We can make them in any colour at all and even floral patterns….but black seem to be a firm favorite. I can only assume there are a lot of conservative trail runners out there.

But I have really digressed with all this….what I actually wanted to say is that there is something intensely satisfying about making something from scratch and selling it….. all your own labour. Lovely!

7 Reasons Dogs are Rich and Happy

This blog was written by: Tim Brownson at http://howtoberichandhappy.com/site/2010/01/7-reasons-dogs-are-rich-and-happy/

I was having a conversation with John Strelecky the other day about dogs and in particular, rich and happy dogs. We were thinking ‘How To Be Rich and Happy’ could have been written by one of my dogs quite easily, presuming of course they had bark recognition software for the transcribing process.

Now before you rush to call the men in white coats and tell them to have their very best long sleeved jacket at the ready, let me explain what I mean and offer you 7 reasons that will prove most dogs are indeed rich and happy.

1. Dogs Don’t Hold Grudges
When my younger dog thought it was fun to bite my testicles a few weeks ago, I wasn’t happy and she knew it. After rolling around in agony for a period of time, I then shouted ‘NO!’ at her whilst pointing at my traumatized genitalia.
She sensed I was unhappy with her and skulked away in disgrace to lick her wounds. And before you ask, no I didn't want her licking my wounds by way of reparation.
Within ten minutes she was back complete with a waggly stump and wanting to play. How can you stay mad at somebody that is so forgiving and happy to be alive?
The answer for me is, I can’t and I suspect you can’t either. Happy dogs are like those people that are always in a good mood, always fun to be around and have charisma by the boat load.

2. Dogs Know Their Values
One of the things that rich and happy people understand is what drives them at a core level. The also understand that aligning with their values is absolutely critical if they are going to live the rich and happy life.
So if peace is a top value they seek peace. If love is at the top, they demonstrate love and if their number one anti-value is stress they do whatever is needed to get the proper recovery time from stressful events
Dogs know this too. Dogs may not have the range of values that humans do, but maybe that’s a problem with us rather than our four-legged friends. Loyalty, family, trust, love and in some cases independence are all important values to rich and happy dogs and ones that they never slip out of alignment with.

3. Dogs Don’t Judge People
My dogs don’t care whether you’re the Pizza delivery guy, the mail man, the Pope or even my mother-in-law, they are still happy to see you. They also don’t care if you’re black, white, beautiful, ugly, straight, gay, tall, short or even French. They love everybody that makes a fuss of them.
What would the world be like if it was ruled by rich and happy dogs, eh?

4. Dogs Don’t Waste Money
I have lived with dogs a a good deal of my life. Not once in all that time has one ever returned from the Boxing Day or Black Friday sales and said, “look how much money I’ve just saved!” And then proceeded to hold up a dress the cost of which could have wiped out the national debt of a small Caribbean country.
Now you may be thinking dogs don’t usually carry cash around with them and you would be right. However, if they did, they wouldn’t spend it on luxuries they didn’t need thinking they would make them feel more rich and happy.
Certainly they may go a bit nuts on the pigs ears order and I think steak would take the place of Pedigree Chum, but I doubt they’d be changing cars every two years or borrowing money to buy a home that has four guest bedrooms….you know, just in case people we haven’t seen in ten years want to come and stay.

5. Dogs Don’t Worry
We ran out of dog food one day last week. Did the dogs worry about it?
Nope.
Did they pace around wondering what they were going to have for dinner?
Nope.
Did they have a disagreement with each other over who had to get the car out and fetch some food?
Nope.
They just napped whilst I fetched the food.
Rich and Happy people don’t worry excessively and chronically. Rich and Happy people would prefer to take a nap than worry, and for the most part they would prefer to act than nap.
Worrying serves no purpose, taking action does. Rich and happy dogs take action….or have a nap.

6. Dogs Don’t Try To Keep Up With The Jones’s
Rich and Happy people concentrate on what THEY want out of life. Their happiness isn’t based on some imaginary score card kept by other people, it’s tied to how they feel about themselves and their life.
If they want a boat, it’s because they want a boat and not because their best friend has one. It’s also because they have run it through the ‘rich and happy return’ to decide whether it is going to improve the quality of their life by giving them more rich and happy minutes in proportion to the expenditure.
I take my dobermans to the dog park every day and guess what? They seem completely oblivious to what the other dogs are wearing. They never complain that their collars aren’t diamond encrusted or their leash made of the finest Mongolian Yak hide, they just run around and have fun sniffing each others buts.
For them a rich and happy life involves doing whatever they want (sniffing buts), whenever they want (any time they’re not eating or sleeping)

7. Dogs Don't Feel Guilty
Tori (the black one in the photo) ate a pair of $600 glasses with progressive lenses in about a week after I got them. Since she got told off about it I haven't noticed he struggling to sleep because she is racked with guilt. In fact I haven't actually noticed her looking guilty about anything. She will pull off a sheepish look when trotting past me with my boxer shorts in her mouth, but that's about as far as it goes. She knows rich and happy dogs have no time to feel guilty when a raid on the sock drawer is to be planned.
Of course I could come up with lots more parallels, but I'm intrigued to know whether you think dogs are richer and happier than human beings on the whole?