Choosing your Partner

I haven’t done a blog for ages. And now sitting here in front of a blank screen is a little daunting. You may well ask why I have written and can tell you it is not because of lack of material. I have list a mile long, well I have a long list and this might well be the problem – where do you start. It is also a little like exercising – when you don’t get out on the road for a while it is hard to get back into the habit. If you don’t use the writing part of the brain it gets stale and lazy – out of the habit!

We had a hugely successful FEAT evening on Thursday – the theatre was buzzing with excitement and the speakers told their amazing stories that leave you wanting to pack your backpack and head off somewhere. And that is the whole idea of FEAT..to showcase our amazing adventurers and inspire people to follow their dreams. www.FEATSA.co.za

Those talks have inspired the topic of this blog: Choosing your Partner. 

The adventurers who spoke stressed the importance of choosing your adventure partner very carefully. Why? Well you want someone you can rely on, that will be there when the chips are down, who will just get on with it when the going gets tough; who wont just sit down and say ‘I am not moving another inch’ or ‘I feel ill today so I can’t do anything’ or ‘I’m going home, had enough’. They also spoke about a sense of humour and commitment. They also spoke about sharing the same dream and sense of adventure. And I am sure that some frank talking goes into making sure the expectations are aligned. This is what makes for a successful adventure/expedition.

So I had a quiet chuckle to myself when I was thinking this over and wondered why on earth we don’t apply the same criteria when we go about choosing life or business partners? All the above adventure criteria apply to the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and more importantly, to share the bank account with. I believe we just don’t do enough homework in these departments and  nor do we listen to that inner voice telling us to be careful or question, that something is out of kilter and doesn't add up. 

I wrote a blog ages ago about the business partner who is having an affair. How do you view this guy/gal if they are lying and deceiving the people closest to them (wife/hubby, kids) with not too much thought for the consequences – and this is your business partner? And what about your love partner who doesn't deliver on promises, makes excuses for non-commitment or other things, treats you like shit badly, ignores your family and friends, lies, cheats and is evasive, is just a tad dishonest, and so on and so on. (You can see I am trying to be non-sexist here!)

The funny thing is you stick around with the crummy business partner or love interest – why? You hope they will change, you don’t want to hurt their feelings and in the case of the philandering business partner – you think he/she would never treat you like that. Don’t you think this sounds stupid?  

Would you choose this person to sail around Cape Horn with you?