I have been back for just over a week now, packed away all my stuff , downloaded all the photos onto my laptop (still doing some photo-shopping and captions), seen some friends and have been back at work for a week. It has been quite hectic since my return.
I have received lots of emails from friends asking for the final blog/newsletter and the photos – I have been thinking and thinking about my final thoughts about my trip so I hope you enjoy this post.
This isn’t going to be about the trip per se – I think you have all received my emails and read along with me on my daily walks. I thought though that I needed to talk more about my observations and lessons learnt….after all, I walked about 760km and all one really does whilst walking is chatter to friends a bit and do lots and lots of thinking about all sorts of things!
So here goes:
Profound thoughts: My friend Marianne emailed me when I was about 3 weeks into my walk and asked if was having any profound thoughts. Well, I thought about this and actually the answer was no…none whatsoever. But, Marianne’s question made me think about what I was thinking … or not thinking. What I was not thinking about was all the small everyday niggles and hassles: he said, she said, irritations at work, or with the traffic or person in the shop. These things just weren’t there…How wonderful it was to realise that I was free of all that sort of day to day rubbish. And then I realised that I also wasn’t thinking about ‘big’ stuff that has been bothering me….even when I deliberately said to myself that I would now think about my relationship with xyz (or whatever), the thought lasted about 30 seconds and was gone….. This in itself was really liberating and even since I have been back this stuff doesn’t bother me…at least for now. I am not sure what the conclusion is here, but I think we often focus on irrelevant things, things that probably will never happen and we don’t deal properly with things when they occur. In our day to day lives we sweat the small stuff (avoidance maybe of dealing with serious/important issues) instead of the big stuff.
Focus and Preparation: Once I got over my initial total panic (this lasted about 4 or 5 days) of where I was and what I was doing (I will write up the funny side of this story another time) I, with the help of a couple of good Samaritans, got very organised and established a routine; and focused on what I was doing. Everyday I did the same thing: my backpack was always packed the same way, I made sure I had adequate water for that day’s walk and some food or snacks, I spent a good deal of time making sure my blisters were well dressed and most importantly, I knew (from my maps) exactly where I was going for that day – how long the walk was, what the terrain would be like and how many options I had for accommodation and if I needed to buy food for the evening along the way. You might think this was the obvious thing to do…but actually it wasn’t all that obvious and I, like many other people had got caught.
I prepared the night before so my departure in the morning would be quick and easy…no messing around and because I loved walking in the dark before the sun came up, I made sure my headlight was in a place and all the things I needed were at hand. You have no idea how many people ran their batteries down on their torches before looking for a place to buy new ones! And then I focused on my walk… focused on following the signs – yellow arrows or the shell symbol. A couple of my friends once took the wrong road and ended up doing an extra 14km on what was one of the hottest days and one of the more difficult routes – they were trashed when they finally arrived at their destination. And the conclusion here….be focused and mindful of your surroundings and the people you are interacting with. Be prepared – you can never prepared enough.
Relationships: I watched some very beautiful relationships along the way: John and his 80 year old mother Connie. He treated her with such love, respect and kindness. She was amazing but took strain every now and again. He was mindful of her age and they bussed it when necessary or spent a few days in a town resting. A number of married couples laughed and enjoyed their way along the Camino. Some Camino romances came to sticky ends – who knows why but one I knew of was because one of the parties failed to mention a wife…and another failed to mention a husband. Some romances just floundered because one of the people was just a much faster walker and had deadlines to meet (different priorities)….one relationship collapsed because the girl would not stop talking! I saw parents and adult children having the time of their lives…and I saw couples in dire straights. I saw friends having an awful time and I saw new friendships flourish. The reasons for some of the couples suffering might have been the following: The physically stronger person striding in front then yelling for the partner to hurry up, telling the partner that their ‘job’ is to do the cooking, washing etc….and not helping with these chores….treating each other (or one of the people) unkindly….so I guess I don’t have to draw too many conclusions here. But: what I will say that if you have problems in your relationship or friendship then don’t do the Camino and if you have a bossy partner don’t even think of doing the Camino. If you don’t have a good relationship from the outset and are not willing to be patient, kind, considerate, respectful, compromise and even over-compromise, mindful of your partners needs and quirks, shortcomings, slowness, physical abilities, etc etc then it would be best to go by yourself…..
The toilet issues: I think most people in business know of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When I was still doing really serious work we used to refer to the bottom 2 levels on Maslow’s diagram as the ‘toilet issues’…..these covered the basic needs like: food, shelter, who many hours do I work, how much leave, lunch hour, food for overtime, my security etc etc…. the challenge was getting the employee to the top level – the self actualisation level – where their focus was away their basic needs and they actually become a contributing and creative member of the company. So where is this going: To follow on from the Relationship section above I met and saw quite a few people who had dreadful days because they could not get coffee in the morning….and they made life pretty miserable for everyone around them. Or, they could not start until they had breakfast…and there may not have been anywhere to have breakfast or coffee. The fact that they did not buy something the day before (even a banana or apple for breakfast) amazed me. One of the women I walked with was like this and after about 10 days we just left her behind…it was all to much…the constant drama about coffee first thing in the morning, the breakfast – and what was for breakfast, the heat, the people along the way, the beds, wanting to rest but when we stopped for a rest she would say she didn’t want a rest, if she wanted to eat she almost refused to move unless she got food and then sulked if she didn’t….the total focus was on her physical needs. I also watched a young man yelling at his partner because she refused to run around this small village another time looking for a bar that sold coffee…there were no bars in the village…there was no coffee anywhere. He was going mad – why he could not shut up and go onto the next town was beyond the situation they where in…how awful. This behavior is immature and quite frankly unacceptable….Conclusion – grow up….sweat the really big stuff! And another conclusion here is, I think, as follows:
Patience and Acceptance: There are some things that are just beyond your control….like no bar or coffee place in the village – so mumbling, yelling and muttering and generally making an unhappy scene is a bit stupid – isn’t it? Being stuck in traffic – same thing…live with it …not much you can do about it……waiting for a hostel to open and they don’t open on time…well live with it - what use is getting annoyed, yelling, sulking going to achieve….well nothing actually….make the best of the situation and chill….
Being Grateful: Everyone I spoke to along the way confessed that they had had a melt- down moment and shed tears - for all sorts of reasons. And I had just tootled along quite merrily, lending a shoulder when necessary and patting backs. But also having a slight little nag at the back of mind and wondering if there was something wrong with me….no meltdown for me! But ah ha. I had my meltdown moment 3 days before I got to Santiago. I was sitting in a bar, drinking my lunchtime beer, watching Spanish TV (their Soaps are very dramatic and I got very fond of one of the quiz shows) and I suddenly thought that I had a hell of lot to be thankful for…here I was, feeling the fittest I have felt for decades, in the most beautiful countryside, having the time of my life, lovely company, good food, beer and soap operas, no injuries (except the blisters), in my 5th week with about 720km under my belt, I had made it…yeah.. and just about to finish the Camino…WOW..what a lucky girl I was…and all this suddenly hit me….and I burst into tears, almost brought the bar to a standstill…bar lady gave me a pile of paper napkins….I sniffled and snuffled, ordered another beer and really and truly counted my blessings and was extremely grateful for absolutely everything….thank you, thank you, thank you everyone… and I am still counting my blessings…I am a very lucky girl!
Liberating: Without a doubt this was one of the liberating times of my life. I only had to focus on walking, staying well and fit and injury free. I had none of the normal day to day hassles and issues. It was amazing - it was a truly amazing time and amazing journey.
Would I do it again: Hell yes...or something similar. I love this way of seeing the countryside, meeting the people and really getting the flavour of the place. I loved meeting people from just about all over the world, I loved the pace of the journey and every minute I spent there. I was so out of my comfort zone when I first arrived on the Camino but I adapted and went with flow.....I surprised myself just about everyday with what I did and what I had achieved. So, yes, I am looking for my next adventure...with relish.
Photos: Will be on facebook soon.
Love and happiness
