Talking to some friends the other day we all remarked that we have noticed of late, and with increasing frustration, that people appear to have an overwhelming desire to “fix” whatever might be bothering one.
What do I mean by this: Have you had a conversation wherein you begin to express your concerns/thoughts about the weather, state of the nation, the youth of today, abysmal customer service, road rage, global warming and so on, only to be interrupted with “Well, what you should do is……” and the person to whom you are talking to proceeds to tell you what you should do/should have done, what to think, what to read, that it also happens in other countries, that everyone is like that etc etc. And as much as you try interjecting or even to get to the end of your story, it has been blown out of the water before you had even warmed up. The other person flashes a self satisfied smile and feels amazingly chuffed with themselves for “fixing it”.
Suggestion: If you are being a “fixer” just watch the face of the person being “fixed” to know exactly how they feel, especially if the person is a child.
Being a good communicator is about being able to really listen, being present, understanding (yes, understanding) what is being said and then knowing how to respond. Conversation is about allowing ideas/thoughts to be processed, allowing a person or child to actually finish processing and verbalising their thoughts and ideas and then, dare I say it, contributing to those thoughts and ideas and being part of growing this into a memorable conversation.
A person who tells you something might just want to share an experience, that is all; and more importantly, might just want to be listened to.
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