Life Rules

Way back in June 2009 I wrote about the ROI on Relationships and said something along the lines of:

“If one person in the relationship doesn’t care and believes less in it; the person doesn’t make enough time or gives enough attention or respect then that relationship probably won’t last long….. The strongest, most enduring and happiest relationships come about when both parties invest equally.”

And now I am going to add a bit more to that statement:.....” and that the strongest, most enduring and happiest relationships come about when you have defined how you want to live your life and you mindfully live it.”

I love this quote from Henry David Thoreau's Walden :

“We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are. We have had to agree on a certain set of rules, called etiquette and politeness, to make this frequent meeting tolerable and that we need not come to open war.”

This is being mindful…..

To have a mindful relationship you must consciously work at it – all the time. All too often we leap into marriage or other partnerships without having first laid down our life rules. The rules and values on how we want to live our lives in a meaningful way. Like Thoreau says: “We have had to agree on a certain set of rules, called etiquette and politeness, to make this frequent meeting tolerable and that we need not come to open war.”

So what are some of these rules? They could look something like this:

I will create an environment that is loving and kind and polite

I will create an environment that is creative and constructive

I will create an environment that encourages growth and learning

I will create an environment that makes people feel special

I will create an environment where the opinions of others are respected and listened to.

And so on… and if this looks like a list of warm and fuzzies just think what your relationships are like if you don’t have these things in place.

To finish off, this is a quote from business guru Tom Peters:

"It's always 'the people.'" It may be glib, but in this instance I don't care. Network, keep your promises, and behave decently. You are as good as your relationships. Period. Short term. Long term. Good times. Tough times. This is the time (though all times are, in fact, the time) to "over" invest in relationship building and maintenance."