Second-guessing

One of my friends didn’t invite me to the movies because she thought I was too busy. (That is one of the hazards of telling people you are busy!) I have blogged about my 2 x jobs and she just thought I would be working and probably tired as well.

However, in this instance she second-guessed me – I would have really loved to have gone to the movies and to have spent a bit of catch-up time with her.

This small incident made me sit up though – I suddenly became aware of lots of second guessing going on all around me. Not about me per se, but I have been hearing people saying things like:

“He/she might not like that so maybe we shouldn’t say anything / or do that”,

“If I phone him/her they might say they cant do it.”

“If I have to go all that way, they might not like my new product and then what?”

“If I go on that new road, there might be a lot of traffic and I might be late”

“If I go to that new movie I might not like it”

I think by now (second guessing I am) you get the picture. How much angst do we cause ourselves, and the people around us, by trying to guess the outcomes of, very often, the most mundane things in our lives? Here’s the thing…..”they” just might be able to do it and if they cant you can always try someone else. Try the new road or movie or you will never know what you have missed. Phone that person – they just might not be too busy or tired.

Sometimes though, the things we want to do might be really daunting and difficult to do alone and we will second-guess ourselves into stagnation – nothing goes forward and it feels like we have taken a dozen steps backwards. We have all been there and know what it is like to try or face new challenges. It can be emotionally and physically draining. At times like this, a friend comes in handy. Ask a friend to be your sounding board, hand holder or advisor – talking about and sharing helps…it gives clarity to your thoughts, fears and you might even get a different perspective on it.