Kindness

My friend Jeanne emailed me one of those lists which promised to reveal the 10 top things only women understand…. And the funny thing is that you find yourself nodding sagely and agreeing with everything on the list, even though the items were a bit idiotic. So I had a little chuckle but then this quote at the end of the email caught my eye.

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

One of my new years resolutions is (was) to be more mindful; and this involves practicing mindfulness in day to day ways and being more conscious of my soundings and what is happening around me. It is sometimes easier said than done. I find myself snapping at the ever increasing number of beggars, who seem to be younger and younger, at every street corner; I shake my head at more and more women sitting against traffic lights with small toddlers at their feet. I get irritated with the post office ladies and nearly blow a fuse when no-one can explain why the postage on the same size parcel is different every time I go to the post office…inexplicably sometimes more and sometimes less.

I forget all too often that just because I am in a hurry the rest of the world might not want to hurry up just because of me. I forget that the security guard who told me I couldn’t take my friends dog into the shopping was just doing his job and my smart-ass comment probably had him thinking I was a real jerk. I forget that the elderly couple in their little car nervously trying to get into the traffic on the motorway were probably terrified.

Being kind, especially practising random acts of kindness, has been proved by the people in the large universities who study these things, increases your general state of well being and, yes, happiness. Being kind implies a degree of mindfulness of the people around you. How aware you are to the nuances and feelings of others allows you to practise kindness which may just be a smile, a compliment or just holding back on a snappish remark. We never really know what goes on in others lives, especially strangers. We really don’t know what battles others face on a daily basis.