Being Grown Up

I had a friend, well very much an ex-friend actually, who often felt he should comment on what a person of my age (37 *grin*) should or shouldn’t do – most particularly shouldn’t do. I would grit my teeth and wonder where on earth this list of do’s and don’ts existed. Needless to say, it existed wholly in his mind.

But I must confess that every now and again when I get a really strong urge to apply for that job in the Antarctic, I do wonder about what being mature or adult really means. Being mature is not just about the things you do eg. Things I was told by my ex-friend that was too old to do (Me?…too old?…never) - but I believe is more about how you behave and how you deal with stuff.

There are lots of definitions for emotional maturity but basically it can be defined as: being able to be in control of your emotional state, to understand the people and social situations around you, knowing how to behave in a given environment or situation, to deal with the ups and downs of life without having and giving way to extreme feelings.

Being mature or adult doesn’t mean you can’t be silly, light-hearted, have fun, try new things, go back to school, lean new stuff, climb a mountain if you feel like it. You also don’t have to be dead serious – but you do need to know when to be serious.

I began this “what being grown-up means” list…or at least the things that make being an adult a happy experience: add to it as much as you like.

You don’t have to keep finding yourself – again and again

You don’t mind if people find your consistent behavior boring

You know a lot of stuff

You don’t have to do a whole lot of digging for information and you can even ask for help

You are able to put your life in perspective

You’re happy with your current situation (doesn’t mean you can’t change it though)

You know you don’t know everything

You can say no without being afraid you have hurt someone’s feelings

You can say yes

You are happy that you don’t have to like things other people like

You can be yourself and know that doesn’t offend others

You know that people don’t think you are too fat, too thin, have funny hair…

You don’t have to impress other people – all the time

You can deal with other people having different opinions to yours

You get a real kick out simplifying your life, things, and environment

You don’t have to be perfect all the time

You don’t have to always have the last word

You can try something new - and if it doesn’t fit/work, you can try something else

You know that having a flashy car doesn’t make you a flashy person

You don’t mind being responsible for yourself and others

You like being a constructive, creative member of society

You know when to do the right thing even if you don’t want to

You don’t have to take out your frustrations on the waiter/carguard/begger

You can and do, turn the other cheek

And finally:

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever. - Germaine Greer